DO YOU EVER FANTASIZE ABOUT HUGGING SOMEONE FAMOUS
NO SEX THOUGHTS, NO AUTOGRAPHS OR PHOTOS
JUST A BIG, GENUINE HUG THAT LASTS THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF TIME AND COMPLETES YOUR LIFE
I had a dream where I was at a Supernatural convention and I was standing in the Q&A line at the J2 Sunday panel. When it was my turn, I quietly said I loved them both very much, but could I ask Dean a question?
Jensen blinked and said, “Shoot.”
"I’d like to know if Dean … I’ve often wondered if you think that Ben is really your son, and that maybe Lisa was only trying to spare you a sense of duty by telling you that he wasn’t y-"
"He is my son."
"It didn’t matter if he was or wasn’t. I made the promise to him that a father makes to his children, to be there for him… and then to not be there, to do everything I could for him, while I could, and then to let him go."
He blinked and was himself again, “So yeah.”
I couldn’t hear anything but the sound of me choking out the words, “thank you”, and it wasn’t until I’d said them that I realized I was crying.
I turned to make my exit, but Jensen stood up and jumped off the stage, jogging in my direction until he had me in a warm, friendly hug. I just hugged him back.
"Please don’t cry," he said, and then he pulled half away and held onto my shoulder to make me look at him. "Thank you for asking me that. I didn’t mean to upset you. Why was that really important to you?"
I started to say no, that I didn’t know, but I suddenly realized that I did know. I sniffed. “Because love like that is so rare and usually it’s only by example and I just… if I were Ben, even after everything, I’d have been proud to call him my dad.”
All that I saw was his jaw clench as he grabbed me in for another hug, tighter, taller, and with a hand to the back of my head. When he pulled away that time and kept moving away, his expression was tight, but his eyes betrayed him. “That one’s from Dean,” was all he said.
Then I woke up.
You know, back in my day, when a character died on my favorite show, I sat by myself in my own room and cried, because I didn’t have the Internet and no one I knew in real life was weird enough to watch that show.